It’s rare to find a super-dad combination that can drum like Keith Moon and review contracts like Ally McBeal, but I found one in father/attorney/drummer Josh Hefner. What a guy. This list is as frenetic as the first sentence this piece, and I’m honored to list our top ten (err, 11, err, dozen) albums of 2019 here with the strong bite of royal teeth.
Be kind, rewind:
10. Local Natives – Violet Street
SW: Cavil at rest is now cavil at first.
JH: I have no idea what you’re talking about, Scott.
SW: Oh, you must be a fake fan, Josh.
JH: Funny enough, I have a super-fan story about Local Natives: My wife once surprised me with a trip to NYC to see the band live. It was our first vacation together period.
SW: Cool story, bro. Did she see you close your eyes?
JH: Haha. You’re a dad now, you can legally say dad jokes.
SW: We’re in the dad club harmoniously like Local Natives.
9. Bayside – Interrobang
JH: Scott, you’re a Long Island native. Isn’t Bayside a Long Island band?
SW: INTERROBANG!
JH: Stop yelling at me.
SW: (whispers) Interrobang.
JH: Much better.
SW: This rock album is much better than most rock releases from 2019. What a song opener.
JH: I love old Bayside. I love new Bayside.
SW: I love ALL Bayside.
JH: It looks like Bayside is the last man standing in a sea of punk bands.
8. Sturgill Simpson – Sound & Fury
SW: I see what you did there.
JH: I’m a big Sturgill fan. I didn’t quite get this record at first, and now I listen to it all too often.
SW: Slow burn. Glad it was a good look for you.
JH: I sing along to this album, what can I say?
SW: You just said it.
JH: (nods)
SW: I just love that one of his old albums has a song about turtles.
7. Bring Me The Horizon – Amo
JH: Bring me the turtles.
SW: I don’t have enough amo.
JH: ouch
SW: HEY! You’re a dad too!
JH: Why you gotta kick me when I’m down?
SW: I apologize if you feel something
JH: I do. This album is VERY different from other Bring Me The Horizon albums, but I like it.
SW: What a mantra. (pauses) It’s rad when a band can evolve like this one and still remain relevant.
6. Bon Iver – i,i
JH: Every record Bon Iver puts out is relevant to me. I have faith in him.
SW: Hey, Da.
JH: I wouldn’t be surprised if that was on his next album.
SW: Girl, same. Bon Iver is huge. Huge.
JH: We. Agree.
SW: I see what we did there.
JH: We (Royal Teeth) listened to this album so much that it was the official soundtrack to our last tour in September.
5. Jimmy Eat World – Surviving
SW: Jimmy Eat World has been the soundtrack to my life since the mid-90s.
JH: Surviving the test of time.
SW: Solid delivery, Mr. Hefner.
JH: I deserve a congratulations.
SW: (pauses for 555 seconds) Congratulations.
JH: I napped in the middle of that.
SW: Sweetness.
4. Lizzo – Cuz I Love You
JH: That Lizzo is good as hell.
SW: She sure gets a lot of press! Well deserved.
JH: Truth doesn’t hurt.
SW: You handled that joke like a boss.
JH: Cuz I love you.
SW: Soulmate.
JH: Alright boys, water me with what’s next.
3. Cokie The Clown – You’re Welcome
SW: Dude. DUDE! Dude. DUDE! This album is a tear jerker.
JH: Swing and a hit.
SW: Dude. DUDE! Dude. DUDE! This album fucking hit me.
JH: Tell us, Queen.
SW: Girl, I will. I love NOFX. I love Travis Barker. I love Nine Inch Nails. I don’t love crying, but I love this album.
JH: You seem to have a lot of love for this album. (pauses) I love that.
SW: Punk rock saved my life. When this album first came out, I had no idea what I was in for.
2. Better Oblivion Community Center – s/t
JH: I see what YOU did there.
SW: I’ve got a big black heart for this record.
JH: It’s like we’re on Scott Street.
SW: IT’S LIKE WE’RE ON SCOTT STREET! THAT’S ME!
JH: (laughs until his eyes are bright)
SW: This album proves that collaboration in the form of a super-group can be beautiful.
JH: It does. And this is no exception to the rule.
SW: Glad that you can see that from your periphery.
(TIE)
1. Periphery – Periphery IV: HAIL STAN
AND
I Fight Dragons – Canon Eyes
JH: Fuckin’ periphery. Fuckin’ I Fight Dragons.
SW: Fuckin’ I Fight Dragons. Fuckin’ periphery
Honorable mention: Sum 41 – Order In Decline
And that’s all for the last year of this decade, folks. Josh Hefner and I have shit to do now. Enjoy this playlist as the ball drops.
