TomSide. BayScott. Those two combinations just don’t have the same ring to it that the word BAYSIDE does. Yup. Kill some time and read our Bayside piece RIGHT NOW:
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Shudder (2008)
SW: Boy.
TK: Boy.
SW: This album is eleven years old. It IS a boy.
TK: This album is super stripped down and “simple,” in the best way ever. It IS a boy.
SW: No one understands boys. (pauses) Boy.
TK: Boy, I can’t go on. (pauses) Boy.
SW: Girl, same.
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Sirens and Condolences (2004)
TK: Debut.
SW: Debut.
TK: Masterpiece.
SW: Well, that’s my favorite song on this record. I listen to it if I’m bored or if there’s poison in my veins.
TK: Masterpiece dad joke.
SW: Just enough to love you, Tom. Just. Enough. To. Love. You.
TK: I hear a lot of Alkaline Trio in this album; I have more than just enough love for ALK3.
SW: I know that you missed the Alkaline Trio/Bayside/Off With Their Heads tour, and I feel sorry for you… Happy to provide alcohol and altar boys for you to cope with! (pauses) I PUT THE PUNK IN PUNCTUATION!
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Vacancy (2016)
TK: Mary.
SW: Mary.
TK: God, I’ve been dead all day. (pauses) With me, you’re DAD all day.
SW: (groans, yet respectfully) I hear it in your voice, Jesus. It’s not all there, per se. I feel a certain (pauses) vacancy.
TK: (shrugs)
SW: GET IT?
TK: That joke was pretty vacant, Moses.
SW: We’re so pretty, we’re so pretty.
TK: Wrong band.
SW: Sex sells though! I watch Showgirls every night.
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Cult (2014)
TK: Pigsty.
SW: Pigsty.
TK: Smells like big cheese.
SW: Tom, your time has come. (pauses) Hate me, bitch.
TK: WOW. Just wow.
SW: That was the whitest lie. I love you. I also love this album. Like a lot. Like it should be #6 but we made it #5. I’m torn.
TK: Quit fucking stuttering.
4. Interrobang (2019)
SW: If you were nice, my prayers would be answered.
TK: Sorry.
SW: It’s cool, soldier. I can’t stay mad at you. Really. I can’t. You’re not in trouble anymore
TK: Good. That answers all of my prayers.
SW: Dude, you’re back in trouble. I already made a prayers dad joke/reference.
TK: It was such a religious experience hearing that joke (and this album; what a fucking album) that I wanted to do it again.
SW: Medication would help. (pauses) Fine. (pauses) I’ll raise my white flag.
TK: Good.
SW: GREAT.
TK: Wanna know what’s great? “Interrobang”.
SW: (nods till his neck is numb)
TK: It’s so heavy and so melodic, but nothing is conventional Bayside. Nothing, I tell ya! I love to see a band that’s been around as long as Bayside has still strive to creatively challenge itself.
SW: Girl, same. You’re tall. Like really tall. Dear reader, if you don’t believe me, google “Tom Kunzman”. How do your long legs walk it off?
TK: (shakes head till his neck and legs are numb)
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Bayside (2005)
SW: Sorry.
TK: Sorry.
SW: Tom, we’ll be ok.
TK: Scott, I blame it on bad luck.
SW: In all seriousness, Beatz owned this record. His legacy lives on at every Bayside show because the band still plays at least a few songs from this record every night.
TK: Chris, the band’s current drummer, most certainly holds it down every night in memory.
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The Walking Wounded (2007)
SW: Duality.
TK: Duality.
SW: This was the very first Bayside album that I obsessed over.
TK: Same. This was the first Bayside record that caught my attention.
SW: Especially the lead guitar work. It STILL catches my attention. Carry on, Bayside. Carry on.
TK: Honestly, and don’t take this the wrong way, kids: Bayside isn’t a band of horses, it is a band of unicorns!
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Killing Time (2011)
SW: Sick.
TK: Sick.
SW: Sick.
This piece is already gone. Listen to this playlist; it fights most demons.
