Words From A Waldman: Tom Kunzman of 18th & Addison Helps Rank Bayside’s Discography

Scott Waldman new 2019

TomSide. BayScott. Those two combinations just don’t have the same ring to it that the word BAYSIDE does. Yup. Kill some time and read our Bayside piece RIGHT NOW:

  1. Shudder (2008)

SW: Boy.

TK: Boy.

SW: This album is eleven years old. It IS a boy.

TK: This album is super stripped down and “simple,” in the best way ever. It IS a boy.

SW: No one understands boys. (pauses) Boy.

TK: Boy, I can’t go on. (pauses) Boy.

SW: Girl, same.

  1. Sirens and Condolences (2004)

TK: Debut.

SW: Debut.

TK: Masterpiece.

SW: Well, that’s my favorite song on this record. I listen to it if I’m bored or if there’s poison in my veins.

TK: Masterpiece dad joke.

SW: Just enough to love you, Tom. Just. Enough. To. Love. You.

TK: I hear a lot of Alkaline Trio in this album; I have more than just enough love for ALK3.

SW: I know that you missed the Alkaline Trio/Bayside/Off With Their Heads tour, and I feel sorry for you… Happy to provide alcohol and altar boys for you to cope with! (pauses) I PUT THE PUNK IN PUNCTUATION!

  1. Vacancy (2016)

TK: Mary.

SW: Mary.

TK: God, I’ve been dead all day. (pauses) With me, you’re DAD all day.

SW: (groans, yet respectfully) I hear it in your voice, Jesus. It’s not all there, per se. I feel a certain (pauses) vacancy.

TK: (shrugs)

SW: GET IT?

TK: That joke was pretty vacant, Moses.

SW: We’re so pretty, we’re so pretty.

TK: Wrong band.

SW: Sex sells though! I watch Showgirls every night.

  1. Cult (2014)

TK: Pigsty.

SW: Pigsty.

TK: Smells like big cheese.

SW: Tom, your time has come. (pauses) Hate me, bitch.

TK: WOW. Just wow.

SW: That was the whitest lie. I love you. I also love this album. Like a lot. Like it should be #6 but we made it #5. I’m torn.

TK: Quit fucking stuttering.

4. Interrobang (2019)

SW: If you were nice, my prayers would be answered.

TK: Sorry.

SW: It’s cool, soldier. I can’t stay mad at you. Really. I can’t. You’re not in trouble anymore

TK: Good. That answers all of my prayers.

SW: Dude, you’re back in trouble. I already made a prayers dad joke/reference.

TK: It was such a religious experience hearing that joke (and this album; what a fucking album) that I wanted to do it again.

SW: Medication would help. (pauses) Fine. (pauses) I’ll raise my white flag.

TK: Good.

SW: GREAT.

TK: Wanna know what’s great? “Interrobang”.

SW: (nods till his neck is numb)

TK: It’s so heavy and so melodic, but nothing is conventional Bayside. Nothing, I tell ya! I love to see a band that’s been around as long as Bayside has still strive to creatively challenge itself.

SW: Girl, same. You’re tall. Like really tall. Dear reader, if you don’t believe me, google “Tom Kunzman”. How do your long legs walk it off?

TK: (shakes head till his neck and legs are numb)

  1. Bayside (2005)

SW: Sorry.

TK: Sorry.

SW: Tom, we’ll be ok.

TK: Scott, I blame it on bad luck.

SW: In all seriousness, Beatz owned this record. His legacy lives on at every Bayside show because the band still plays at least a few songs from this record every night.

TK: Chris, the band’s current drummer, most certainly holds it down every night in memory.

  1. The Walking Wounded (2007)

SW: Duality.

TK: Duality.

SW: This was the very first Bayside album that I obsessed over.

TK: Same. This was the first Bayside record that caught my attention.

SW: Especially the lead guitar work. It STILL catches my attention. Carry on, Bayside. Carry on.

TK: Honestly, and don’t take this the wrong way, kids: Bayside isn’t a band of horses, it is a band of unicorns!

  1. Killing Time (2011)

SW: Sick.

TK: Sick.

SW: Sick.

This piece is already gone. Listen to this playlist; it fights most demons.