‘The VelociPastor’ is a real movie, and we have the trailer to prove it

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A few weeks back we celebrated the ten-year anniversary of GrindHouse, a big budget throwback to the rough and tumble days of underground cinema brought to life by two of the world’s best film auteurs. As good as that film is, we feel it is important to remind people that bizarre, undeniably unique low budget fare is still being created around the world. That is why we’re here to share the first trailer for The VelociPastor, a joke turned actual movie about a priest who transforms into a dinosaur.

If you need to read that last sentence a few more times we completely understand. It is not everyday that someone tells you about a film where a person transforms into a velociraptor, but that is precisely what we have to share today. The VelociPastor was initially a joke created to parody absurd b-movies, but it grew such a fervent following online that a campaign was launched to turn the gag into an actual film. People responded with their wallets and now, sometime this year, The VelociPastor will be unleashed unto the Earth. You can view the first trailer above.

A few things we need to discuss:

  • Where did the ninjas come from?
  • When one transforms into a dinosaur, do they keep or lose their shorts (like the Hulk)?
  • What kind of woman can love a man who is part dinosaur?
  • How did this pastor discover his abilities? Was he bitten by a wild velociraptor?
  • What does the existence of the VelociPastor say about the Christian beliefs regarding the age of the Earth?
  • Will the pastor have a crisis of faith in light of his evolution, or will the fact he has more strength than ever further his belief in a higher power?

We cannot guarantee any or all of these will be answered when The VelociPastor finally debuts on VOD and DVD later this year, but our fingers are crossed that the final product will be every bit as entertaining as the footage from the trailer. It’s dumb, but in the fun kind of way, and we sincerely can’t wait to see what happens next.

The VelociPastor