New ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ trailer is laughably overdramatic

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Fifty Shades Darker
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If your most anticipated film list for 2017 includes Fifty Shades Darker we need to stage an intervention in your life. I have no doubt that a market for a movie like this exists, but if you watch the footage below and still feel a tingling excitement for this film’s release I implore you to get out more.

Last weekend, while the rest of us were preparing to say goodbye to 2016, a new trailer for Fifty Shades Darker found its way online. The footage finds Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) trying to convince Ana Steele (Dakota Johnson) to give him a second chance. Ana agrees to play along as long as Christian is willing to change, but just as soon as the couple finds some semblance of happiness a few ghosts from Grey’s past begin to make their presence known. Check it out:

Call me crazy, but there is a good chance the trailer above shows you the vast majority of Fifty Shades Darker in the exact order it unfolds. We see the once happy couple reunite only to be pulled apart again, and then in the final moments a jaded lover from Christian’s past looks to have developed a thirst for blood. Will Christian and/or Ana parish? Probably not.

Millions of people bought Fifty Shades Darker, and millions more made it a point to see the previous Fifty Shades film in theaters so the likelihood of this film being a hit feels like a given. That said, I hold out hope that people recognize the faux-steaminess that resides at the center of these stories and opt to spend their money on better, more engaging entertainment. I know that probably won’t happen because people like what they like, but still—hope remains.

Fifty Shades Darker rolls into theaters on Valentine’s Day weekend. Comment below and let us know if you will be lining up for Christian Grey’s latest adventure.