Jason Camacho of Audio Karate and I tried to go to a Jewish deli early AM months before the pandemic. We failed. It was closed. So we went to a bagel locale (which is quite synonymous) instead and talked shop about Descendents…
7. Enjoy! (1986)
SW: I’m currently enjoying the fact that we’re at a Jewish deli together.
JC: Hell yeah.
SW: Us Jews don’t believe in hell.
JC: Mexican Catholics totally do. Every day I’m going to hell for something.
SW: Enjoy!
JC: Oy vey!
SW: I feel nothing but cheer that you just did that.
6. I Don’t Want To Grow Up (1985)
JC: We can’t go back now, Scott.
SW: Jason, you’re such a silly girl.
JC: Pervert.
SW: I’m not a pervert!
JC: “Silly Girl” alone is worth the price of admission for this album.
SW: I agree. In my world, this album has quite a theme.
JC: I like that, Mr. Waldman. It’s filled with good good things.
SW: That’s what she said.
JC: Pervert!
SW: I see what jew did there.
5. Hypercaffium Spazzinate (2016)
JC: I need more coffee. There’s never enough coffee.
SW: I feel this.
JC: Do you? Since you don’t believe in hell, you have a shameless halo.
SW: Bro, you gotta quit with the aggro. Take down your testosterone a notch.
JC: Bro, what do we have without love?
SW: (hugs him) On a serious note, the song “Limiter” is quite the social commentary. Listen. I dig it. I dig new shit from Descendents.
JC: And who still does 21 songs on a fucking record?
SW: Twenty One Pilots?
JC: …
4. Cool To Be You (2004)
SW: Oh Jason, quit acting so cool.
JC: I’m not a cool guy, but it must be pretty cool to be you.
SW: Fat Wreck Chords!
JC: She don’t care.
SW: Oooo.
JC: I feel that this album is a perfect marriage of pre-“Everything Sucks” Descendents and a “Pummel”-era ALL.
SW: ALL would be nothing without Descendents. Descendents would be nothing without ALL.
JC: I don’t know what to say to that. I’m hitting a dry spell.
SW: Cool.
3. All (1987)
JC: It’d be cool if my wife Kristen cleaned our sheets every once in a while, amirite?
SW: Here’s a pep talk: I don’t think that you should ever do that again.
JC: Sorry. I’m jealous of Descendents for writing “Camage”.
SW: I camaged when I first heard the band’s musicianship on this album.
JC: And then they broke up!
SW: (starts crying)
JC: You know it’s true.
SW: Ooo ooo ooo, I love you.
JC: Oy vey: part two.
2. Milo Goes To College (1982)
SW: Oy vey: part three. Descendents superfans are gonna HATE that we listed this as number two. At least I hope so.
JC: Maybe you’re just not a punk.
SW: I’m not a loser.
JC: As of now, we’re both soon to be parents: We should both shut up.
SW: But there’s another album to discuss! I’m not ready to go back to my suburban home just yet.
JC: Nor I. Musically, if anyone can truly play “Statue Of Liberty” 1/10 as well as the original recording, I tip my fisher’s hat to them.
SW: I couldn’t even do it when I was myage.
JC: Maybe our parents could’ve.
SW: My dad was hairy. I wanna be a bear.
JC: My dad sucks.
1. Everything Sucks (1996)
JC: This album is the one.