Producer John Ferrara IS New Jersey. Yup. He is. Trophy Scars and 18th & Addison = Part of New Jersey. Yup. Again, producer John Ferrara IS New Jersey. Ask Tony Soprano. We decided to rank a non-baker’s dozen of the best New Jersey bands, and fuck you if you disagree.
The Gaslight Anthem
SW: This is the anthem, throw all your hands up.
JF: WOW. You’re starting this piece with great expectations.
SW: It’s just the ‘19 sound, John.
JF: Scott, get hurt.
SW: Why must you hurt me?
JF: Have I wasted any of your time?
JF: Short and to the point. I like it, dude.
JF: Scott, I remember you: You’re not always this short with me.
SW: I’m the Jew-th gone wild.
SW: Speaking of wows, i believe that Skid Row was among the very first metal bands to have a #1 record.
JF: WOW part two. No monkey business from this group.
SW: This is my favorite band on this list. There’s no going back now!
JF: Scott, get it together.
SW: Maybe we’ll see this through.
JF: Midtown did A LOT for the New Jersey scene. I saw it happen.
SW: Was it like a movie?
The Bouncing Souls
SW: (maniacal laughter)
JF: You’re so rad.
SW: I’m a true believer.
JF: Punk fucking rock.
SW: Indeed. I saw this band at more Warped Tours than most.
JF: Was it (wait for it, wait for it) how you spent your summer vacation?
SW: (long pause) Yes.
The Dillinger Escape Plan
JF: (loud scream)
SW: (grabs a guitar and plays some dissonant odd metered shit)
My Chemical Romance
JF: Famous last words: Some may be upset that this is so “low” on this list.
SW: It’s a lucky number. It’s seven. Shut up, trolls.
JF: I’m not okay.
SW: Do you promise?
SW: Stop giving me hell, kid.
Saves The Day
SW: Okay rhymes with Saves The Day.
SW: John, don’t get your shoulder to the wheel.
JF: Scott, are you through being cool?
SW: Mr. Ferrara, I was never cool. I was banned from the back porch.
JF: “Through Being Cool” is a monumental record for New Jersey and rock music.
SW: I concur. I’ve been listening to this album non-stop from 1999-now.
JF: Mr. Waldman, I see you: Grow up.
JF: I’m not going to give you the run around here: Blues Traveler is a super underrated band.
SW: I know! The hook brings you back, doesn’t it.
JF: The HARMONICA brings me back.
SW: No one talks about Blues Traveler anymore. It’s stupid. No one even knows that the band is from New Jersey. That’s stupid. John, we’re changing that. We’re changing that right now. Right now, dude. We’re changing that.
JF: I know! No one talks about Blues Traveler anymore. It’s stupid. No one even knows that the band is from New Jersey. That’s stupid. Scott, we’re changing that. We’re changing that right now. Right now, dude. We’re changing that.
SW: But anyway…
JF: DUDE! It’s a Thursday right now and we’re writing this piece!
SW: (eyes open wider than they ever have)
JF: “Full Collapse” is a huge record and it set off a time bomb of aggressive emotional music throughout the entire state of New Jersey.
SW: And it eventually became the autobiography of a nation!
JF: (eyes open wider than they ever have)
SW: John! John! Cross out your eyes!
JF: My vision is war all the time.
SW: Bon FUCKING Jovi declares war all the time.
JF: Scott, we’re halfway there.
SW: John, that’s not true. We’re nearly 9/10 of the way there.
JF: I was singing a fucking song.
JF: I wish that you would runaway.
SW: (runs away)
JF: THE BOSS.
Hey, I’m back. That was fun. Here’s a playlist featuring your mother and twelve songs about your mother. Fuck your mother.