Words From A Waldman: Fake Figures’ Bob Bradley Helps Rank Deftones’ Albums

Bob Bradley does A LOT. In addition to being the bassist for Fake Figures, he also has his own PR firm called Bradley Public Relations & Marketing, AND, most importantly, he is a loving husband and father. I also truly enjoy his company. Anyway, speaking of gushing, there are few bands that people gush harder over than the Sacramento five-piece known as Deftones. Read below for our 100% subjective album rankings.

Shove it:

Adrenaline (1995)

SW: Debut record. Debut spot on this list.

BB: I’ll always think of Adrenaline as being the most popular deftones album with its older fan-base members who likely kept this music close to his or her chest purely because of “that sickass time Bryan was in the pit during Engine No.9”.

SW: That was more than seven words, Bob. We’re already off to a less than stellar start. I’m bored.

BB: (duh duh duh duh duh duh duh)

Saturday Night Wrist (2006)

SW: (wrist wrist wrist wrist wrist wrist wrist)

BB: Every Deftones album is underrated.

SW: BEWARE!

BB: RAPTURE!

SW: I love that this album has a song named after the cheat code in Contra.

BB: I miss the original Nintendo.

SW: There’s definitely a hole in the earth without it.

BB: Better days were to come…

Gore (2016)

SW: That’s what she said.

BB: OH MY GOD THAT REFERENCE FROM THE OFFICE IS SO AWFUL AND NON-CLICHED AND I HAVEN’T EVER HEARD IT IN ANY CONTEXT OUTSIDE OF THE TV SHOW. Ever. (pauses) Prayers/triangles.

SW: My hearts/wires are with you.

BB: Chino’s lyrics on this record rule.

SW: Chino is an underrated lyricist.

BB: Would you say that he is a doomed user?

SW: My hearts/wires are with him.

BB: (snarls)

SW: I’m an energetic dude, and I appreciate this album’s lack of energy. It was like a refreshing non-energy energy drink.

Deftones (2003)

BB: Speaking of energy, this album is HEAVY.

SW: I’ll say it: This album should be ranked higher on this list.

BB: I’ll battle-axe you!

SW: I love the album’s opening scream. Epically crushed, passionate, and sincere.

BB: Flawless production. The band’s sound on this record is better than any prior or subsequent release.

SW: It had me on needles and pins the entire time!

Koi No Yokan (2012)

BB: I was seriously obsessed with this album when it came out AND about six months ago I had the “Swerve City” Belching Beaver beer. It was tasty. Very tasty.

SW: You don’t need to graphic the nature so much, Bob. What happened to you? Seriously, dude. What happened to you?

BB: Simplicity almost always works and I almost always work.

SW: This. Album. Is. A. Trip.

Diamond Eyes (2010)

BB: We can’t be silly when talking about this album. Chi Cheng was the heart of deftones and this is the first post-Chi record.

SW: Such a sad loss.

BB: Eros.

SW: Eros.

White Pony (2000)

BB: People are going to yell at us.

SW: LET THEM YELL!

BB: (covers ears)

SW: I have Deftones street cred. I went to the signing for this album at the Virgin Megastore in Times Square. I yelled “FAR” at them. At least two band members smiled. That was cool.

BB: Did you feel (wait for it, wait for it) elite?

SW: Dude, I was just a teenager.