Top Nine Best Guilty Pleasure Songs ft. Adam Bernard

Scott Waldman new 2019

I had the chance to write about the top nine guilty pleasure songs from the 90s with author/blogger Adam Bernard. Adam recently wrote a book called ChemBro: Embracing Beastmode to Beat Cancer and he was a beast of a conversationalist. Enjoy our banter and don’t feel guilty.

  1. Salt N Pepa – “Whatta Man”

SW: Dude, I danced to this song at more Bar Mitzvahs than any other.

AB: What a weird song for you and I to sing together simultaneously on separate coasts while driving…

SW: Adam, you’re so En Vogue.

AB: (audible groan)

SW: Hey! I thought that we were in the dad joke market together.

AB: You can legally tell dad jokes; you ARE a dad. I have no kids so I’ve been accused of dad joke appropriation.

SW: Whatta dad, whatta dad, what a mighty good dad…

  1. Bryan Adams – “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You”

AB: Bryan Adams = Peak dad rock.

SW: It was the summer of ’91.

AB: I like it.

SW: I like it.

AB: Full disclosure: This song was in the wrong Robin Hood movie.

SW; We’re men, we’re men in tights…

AB: Constantly foiled by a chastity belt.

SW: (long pause) Bryan Adams rules.

  1. Ace of Base – “The Sign”

AB: Indeed. By the way, does any country in the universe do pop music better than Sweden?

SW: No.

AB: Exactly! Scott, you know why you know?

SW: No.

AB: Because you saw the sign and it opened up your eyes.

SW: K.

AB: All that you want is another baby.

SW: No.

AB: (long pause) Ace Of Base rules. (another long pause) It’s a beautiful life.

  1. Mariah Carey – “Always Be My Baby”

SW: My life IS a beautiful life, but please stop picking songs about babies!

AB: Now you wanna be free so I’m letting you fly…

SW: I ain’t gonna cry no…

AB: You don’t have to cry, Mr. Waldman. I set up a tire swing in your backyard.

SW: Mr. Bernard, our love will never end. No.

AB: Actually, this article is only nine songs long, so our love will end on paper.

SW: (starts crying)

  1. Whitney Houston – “I Have Nothing”

AB: Stop crying! Whitney Houston is here for you now!

SW: I have something.

AB: Whitney’s voice was certainly something.

SW: Peak peak peak peak diva. Plus, “The Bodyguard” is a sick movie-film.

AB: I LOVE Paul Simon.

SW: You can call me Art.

  1. Natalie Imbruglia – “Torn”

AB: You know what I consider a work of art? Natalie Imbruglia.

SW: This is how you feel. I’ll say this: Natalie was with Daniel Johns of Silverchair. That’s enough “HOLY FUCK” for me.

AB: Speaking of holy fuck, is it weird that I’m co-writing this article lying naked on the floor?

SW: Yes.

AB: So what you’re saying is that you don’t wanna Ednaswap places with me?

SW: Correct. I’m not torn on that.

  1. Montell Jordan – “This Is How We Do It”

AB: FINE! PSA: THIS song is the best song that references drinking responsibly.

SW: So tip up your cup and throw your hands up…

AB & SW: (singing together) THIS IS HOW WE DO IT!

AB: I still have the cassingle for this track.

SW: You’re old.

AB: So I reach for age 40 and turn it up.

SW: So I reach for age 38 and turn it up. (pauses) It doesn’t have the same ring.

AB: Don’t worry. You’ll get there.

  1. Spice Girls – “Say You’ll Be There”

SW: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. This song has the word “there” in it. Whoa.

AB: I see what you did…

SW: I’m giving you everything.

AB: (under his breath) I wish that the Spice Girls would give me something.

SW: THEY GAVE YOU “SPICEWORLD”! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

AB: Honestly, I want to know exactly how that bus worked… And I don’t just mean Meat Loaf driving it!

SW: If you put Meat and Loaf together, you will see what this friendship is for.

AB: Wow.

SW: Adam, you’re all that joy can bring.

AB: Sorry I can’t give you paradise by the dashboard light.

SW: I gotta know right now before we go any further: Do you love me? Will you love me forever?

AB: Two out of three ain’t bad.

  1. Smash Mouth – “All Star”

SW: Smash. Mouth. All. Star.

AB: This song should be our national anthem.