Words from a Waldman: Dan Picarel of The Underclassmen helps rank Paramore’s discography

Dan (of The Underclassmen) is a talented man. Dan loves Paramore more than most. Read why below:

  1. All We Know Is Falling (2005)

SW: Falling in reverse.

DP: I see what you did there.

SW: It’s all we know.

DP: Scott, you never let this go.

SW: I can feel the pressure, Dan.

DP: Debut albums are tough for me. I love this record but I am much more into the band’s later works.

SW: Dan, you’re brighter than most.

DP: Puns. On. Point.

  1. After Laughter (2017)

SW: Nothing funny about this album…

DP: 80’s style instrumentation: check. A sincere message to the world about the importance of one’s mental health: check. I’m a fan.

SW: There are no bad Paramore records. Period. TOLD YOU SO!

DP: Hey, do you forgiveness me?

SW: Forgiven. No hard times here.

DP: I’m no longer fake happy; I’m REAL happy.

  1. Brand New Eyes (2009)

SW: TRUE. Dan is a bigger Paramore fan than I, so I compromised here. For the record: This is MY favorite Paramore album. Yup.

DP: Have you listened recently with brand new ears?

SW: Careful, Dan. Careful.

DP: Scott, you show your ignorance with each word in this article.

SW: I am now feeling sorry.

DP: Turn it off!

SW: K.

  1. Riot! (2007)

DP: Hallelujah.

SW: This album is a miracle.

DP: I was born for this record.

SW: I was born this way.

DP: Wrong band.

SW: I was born in the U.S.A.?

DP: Wrong band.

SW: Stop crushcrushcrushing my dad jokes.

DP: Well…  (pauses) that’s what you get.

SW: Ugh. Managing you sometimes is a misery business.

DP: Well…  (pauses) that’s what you get.

SW: Well played. That joke is a miracle.

  1. Paramore (2013)

DP: Paramore proved that it could grow up with this album.

SW: Others may have thought that the band was daydreaming about its future, but this self-titled record is proof that it wasn’t the band’s last hope.

DP: Wow.

SW: Wow rhymes with “Now”.

DP: Scott, don’t try to take this from me.

SW: Dan, don’t try to take this from me.

DP and SW (together singing): Now ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.

Listen to The Underclassmen. Listen to Paramore. Listen to this playlist.