Okay, so there’s no point in denying the importance of Nirvana’s sophomore album, Nevermind, right? The album has sold more than 10 million copies in America alone, played a huge role in the shifting of popular music from cheesy hair metal to music that was a bit more honest and real (and then, quickly, cheesy again—thanks, Candlebox). Regardless of the cult of personality around Kurt Cobain that draws people in to this day, it’s still hard to ignore just how good the songs on Nevermind were, from the opening explosion of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” to the incredible hooks of “In Bloom” to pure aggression of “Territorial Pissings” to the subdued, brooding “Something In The Way.” Nevermind is one of those rare instances in music where both the underground and the mainstream agree on something being awesome, and everyone is better for it.
Of course, you’ll always have naysayers out there, and what better place for them to congeal together like pond scum than in the user reviews section of Amazon? So now, we present to you our 10 favorite one-star reviews given on Amazon to Nirvana’s Nevermind. Keep in mind these are real people writing real one-star reviews about an album beloved the world over by fans and critics alike. Enjoy the absurdity, folks. And if you’re in a band, remember: No matter how good millions of people think your music is, someone will always hate what you’re doing—and that probably means you’re doing something right.
Celebrating the fact that a guy killed himself? Keep it classy, Tommyboy67.
Whaddya know: Someone with a screenname proclaiming their Rush fandom hates Nirvana. Shocking.
Less than nothing? Like, Nevermind is dark matter? Maybe Kurt Cobain is actually the one responsible for that black hole in Interstellar. Mind = blown.
Credit where credit is due: “It sucks worse than patriotic songs and smooth jazz” is actually a pretty funny slam.
Ah, arguing the semantics of how a calendar works. I bet this guy was the life of the party on Dec. 21, 2012.
We’ll give you sarcasm and sloppiness, but insulting Kurt Cobain for allegedly having poor personal hygiene? That is a bridge too far, sir.
I gotta be honest: I have searched all over YouTube for this elusive hour-long Kurt Cobain radiator video that GamesMaster4Life mentions and I can’t find it anywhere. Pretty bummed, tbh.
This is actually a relatively well-reasoned opinion as to why the reviewer did not enjoy the record. Who knew it could be done?
There is a whole lotta revisionist history going on in this review: Nevermind sold poorly? Nirvana were only popular after Kurt killed himself? The band are the musical equivalent of a Tamagotchi? Uh, okay, dude. Whatever you say.